Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Waiting Game

When all you're dong is sitting and waiting these days and weeks can drag on. I say sitting and waiting because I am currently a substitute teacher/college student so what that means is that I have no college classes until next month as well as no school starting for all the Little's until the end of next month as well. And to top things off I have a medical condition going on with my eyes right now that has me out of the car and in the house. Waiting. Cause there's only so much house cleaning I can and want to do, lol!

So, Tim is in and out of the house. Either driving all over the area for work or flying on planes states away to seal deals and do what he does best. Make that money. So, most days its just me and our three pups. And they ain't sayin nuttin, lol! Oh, and did I tell you we even have a pool that I could get into but since I had radiation on said eyes I cant?! Ughhh. The world is so cruel at the moment!

Oh, I'm still popping out those letters to Will. Since I've been not very adventurous the last week I've been pulling up all sorts of useless facts online and writing them down. I love stuff like that and you can actually learn a thing or two that is very UN useless. Did you know that a Scorpion can hold its breath under water for 6 whole days? And a snail can sleep for three whole years? And that there is a place in the Hudson Bay in Canada that the gravity is less and scientists don't know why?? Useless? I think not...

Oh, and all this waiting is due to Will not writing or sending anything since last week when he sent back the questionnaire. His weeks will now continue to get busier and I really don't look for him to send anything else that doesn't NEED to be sent. Like graduation passes. Those need to be sent or we cant get on base. He better send those! lol! Sooo, guess i'll go find more useless facts and NOT clean anything!!

Monday, July 16, 2018

HE FINALLY CALLED!

It was the sweetest voice you ever did hear too! Will got his first real phone call and called last Friday night at 7:44PM and we got to talk for a whole 6 minutes! When the call came over my phone it also came across my iPad I was on at the time. At first I just looked at it and it took a few seconds for my brain to rationalize what I was seeing, lol!

I had planned on recording the call too.... Had the little voice recorder in my hot little hand and everything. We (Tim and I) answered the call and I pushed record.. Or so I thought. I still don't know why the damn thing didn't but I guess now its kind of a moot point.

Hello? From me. Hi, From him. Hello? From Tim and a more confident HI from him, lol! Guess he was as unsure as us on how we would sound. It only took about 2 seconds for that to last and we were off asking questions and just sitting back and letting him talk. And talk. And talk some more! DAMN we needed to send his ass to boot camp more often if we could actually now get him to talk, what?!

While I kept check on the time we listened while he told us about calling us, his dad and his girl, Jen. Then he let us know that he was settling in just fine and he actually liked it. He stated that one of his wing men, Justin, had come up to him last week and said, "Hey, my girlfriend told me that her and your mom have been talking and know each other and that you're Crystal's son and I just thought I'd introduce myself and shake your hand." LOL! I loved that! So now they are friends and come to find out they had been working together closely anyway before that. This is the part about it all that I love so much. When we went through all of this with our oldest, Ty, we've made some long time friendships with the Airmen AND their families!

He let us know that he's one of 4 element leaders. That's a pretty important role too. If in the first few days you have shown some kind of leadership your flights Training Instructor (or TI for short) will hand select 4 (out of 40-60 guys) for the whole flight. They act as an assistant (with authority) to the training instructor. He said that so far he's had the job for a few weeks and you can also lose it just as fast as you got it if you screw up in the slightest.

He also said that he was doing good with his PT time. PT stands for physical training and they do a LOT of it. A mile and a half, push ups, sit ups, pull ups, drills and so much more. He did say that his running time he got down to an 11 minute and 33 second time. That's pretty dang good seeing as how before he left he was hitting that same run at between 15 and 16 minutes.

Um, what else, he also talked bout assembling and reassembling his M16. He said it was easy but they don't time them any longer. In my opinion, I don't think that was a good thing to do. In times of war its good to do that kind of stuff in a hurry. Wont have time to "take your time" during a gun fight...

He also said that he was eating very good too. That he actually loved the food.  I heard mention of lots of sausage and bacon. Two foods I haven't gotten him to eat in years. Little stinker. And about that time I noticed that our time limit was up and we said our I love yous and see you soons. It was SO good to hear his voice. It just made it real that he wasn't "gone" but just not here right now. I tell ya, the lack of communication really plays with your head and heart.

So, that call did wonders for me. I've only received the questionnaire back last week and nothing since. Kinda bummed about that but I know that starting this week and on they'll be even more busy. This week is the gas chamber and I can't wait to here how that went!!!


Wednesday, July 11, 2018

MAIL CALL!



Sooo glad this came today! I have sent a few of these questionnaires to him and this is the first he's returned!

Monday, July 9, 2018

No News Is Good News? Yeah, Not Buying THAT.....

We got letters Friday from Will! Yay! He's still sounding upbeat and positive, which is good but the only thing that's irritating me is his lack of information in his letters. He's not really talking about how its going. What he's doing. What his job is. How he's doing with all the physical stuff. He DID tell me that he's eating just fine and that he's NOT drinking any sodas, lol! We are NOT a soda house. Tea and water here!

Now, in saying that no news is good news, yeah, yeah... I AM keeping in contact with others from Will's Flight group. There is a girl friend of one of the trainees in Wills flight that is VERY informative, lol!! And he tells her and she tells me! And what we've both found out is that Will and Justin's (that's the boy friend trainee) flight is STILL not acting right and getting into trouble. So much so they LOST their 15 minute call privilege for this week AND an hour off everyday during the graduation weekend. Meaning that the graduation weekend runs Thursday through Sunday. They now are only getting 7 hours with family instead of 8 PER day unless they straighten up and learn to work as a unit. Some of these kids are barely 17 and I think the oldest is 31. Yeah, that's a BIG age gap and a lot of lessons to be learned there.

Also, we found out that last week, in week 2 of training , FIVE guys up and quit. Yup, you still have time to quit even if you signed the dotted line. The thing is is that if you don't want to be there the Air Force doesn't want you there. Kinda self explanatory and makes perfect sense. Plus, like everything else in the military there's always a process. Even in getting what they call "washed out." As is the thing with these 5 guys. For whatever reason they quit and now they have to go through evaluations to see if it was just cause or if it was out of fear. If the later is the case then you get "recycled." what that means is that you'll get pulled from your original Flight group and moved to a newer one to make up the time you missed being washed out. OR whatever the reason is and its legit then you get sent home.

This all happened last week from what the trainee said and week 2 was a pretty rough week from what little Will did say. And in saying that I am SO damn proud of Will. He had sent me that first letter and told me multiple times that he wasn't quitting. No matter what. So, I'm thinking that's what he meant by those statements.

So, as I didn't get any letters or calls today I did get valuable information that I could in turn use in my next letter to Will to keep his moral up and his home support productive and not just idling by figuring out what to say next. I kind of got on to him just a little that we worry more when he leaves things out rather than when he tells us things. I get hes trying to spare us all the details and have us worry buuuut, nah. Tell me everything boy!! No news is good news? Yeah, definitely NOT buying that!!

Friday, July 6, 2018

No Mail.. But there's Always Tomorrow

Well, no mail today. Boo... It was an early day too out getting things done and in time to get home and check the mail. I've been writing Will everyday so I already had that going out and while Tim and I were out and about I wrote tomorrows letter. I try and write my letters the day before I send them that way if I can't be home to write then I still know that before I leave each morning I have one waiting on the mailman when they get there after lunch. The way its been Tim and I don't get home until after 5. So, there's always tomorrow!

 I've actually had a better "dealing with it" day today. Normally, just the thought of Will brings me to tears. Anything that reminds me of him. Anything that he used to do around the house and so on. Tears, tears and more tears.

 I've actually been reading a book with a very good friend called "Be Safe, Love Mom." Holy hell the first time I read just the description was BEFORE he shipped out and he was still at home but the thought of what was to come had me saving the read for another time. I didn't need him questioning things seeing mom breaking down every other day before he left. The closer June 18 came the more his own nerves shot up. But press on he did. So could I.

Then a few days after he left, Lisa, the good friend I was telling you about, sent me a text saying that she had already purchased the book and she was going to be on this journey with me getting through Will being away at Basic Military Training or simply, BMT. I read the text and it took me another 10 minutes before I could see clearly enough to reply back. The fact that someone wanted to go on this journey with me and help guide and support was amazing. Plus, you have to know Lisa.

 I met Lisa through my ex husband. His mother was married to his step dad and it was a relative of his. We hit it off the moment we met. She was one of the most genuine and compassionate people I'd ever met. We were "family" for a good 10 years and even worked together for a while which was a real treat. She never said a bad word about anyone and ALWAYS had a smile and a good word for all. But, life happened and we drifted.

 Then SOCIAL MEDIA came about and we reconnected and it was like we had never had time away. Our love of ANYTHING books and reading had us always texting each other about the latest book series we were on because normally it was the same series, lol! Long story short we haven't lost reconnection in over 10 years and she's been a breath of fresh air even when I don't even know that I need it. So, having her on this journey has been amazing. She's already finished the book and I'm right there behind her with two more chapters.

 The book itself is about a Military mom of FOUR military kids in EACH branch of the armed forces. PLUS, her and her husband AND her parents are all military too! Whew! So yes, this book has brought a LOT of incite into how us new military whatever you are...mom, wife, husband, brother, sister, whatever..to get through the rough times and suggestions given on how to fill voids. How to keep your own emotional "Tank" full while worrying and stressing over your military loved one when they are both gone and home. Because as its always been told and true...Life doesn't stop just because of our situations. We change and adapt the best we can with what we have and who's along for the ride.

So... No mail today. OK, but there's always tomorrow.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

I Always Sucked With Coming Up With The Titles...

So, forgive me if I'm not as quick witted as I normally could be. I've spent the last 10 hours driving around with the hubby doing business calls, seeing friends, running errands and doctor appointments. Boy, am I beat.

Since this is only my second post I wouldn't have told you that now that our youngest, Will, is at Air Force boot camp that I have since gone to the US Postal website and enrolled in their notification program. That way if and when Will sends a letter they will scan a picture of it and send it to me the day they deliver it. I normally get the notifier early in the morning and the first time it worked. I was chomping at the bits to get home that afternoon to run to the mailbox and grab his letter while running back up the drive way laughing with glee and dancing cause I GOT A LETTER!! Lol!

Buuut, this second letter that came today DIDN'T have a notifier this morning...WHY? Because some how it was sent to my neighbors email address instead?! How the hell does that even happen? I got the letter. It was a NICE surprise laying in my mailbox. But my neighbor sent me a text after the fact saying she received the scanned picture and it was in her box. Just to make sure I ran and checked her mail just to make sure there wasn't two letters instead of one. Nope, no letter. SO, I cant even rely on the postal system.... Oiyyyy

I've written Will every day since he left. We dropped him at the recruiter on June 19th and I had already given him one for the road and then written every day after that. I just cant NOT write him. Yes, this is new and scary for him but it's new for me too. I cant talk to my kid on the phone or see his face through Face Time so yeah, old school snail mail here I come!

His first letter last week you could hear and feel the fear coming off his words. This is a 18 year old guy that is extremely private and I may get a half hug and a monotone I love you. That's it. So when my first letter is nothing BUT emotion its playing all sorts of tricks on me, lol!  So, I've even had to figure out how to write my letters to him. I wont feed into his fear and I sure wont "Aw, poor Will" him either. My brain goes into mom mode and I'm there to act as an anchor for him and to get his mind focused again.

Today's second letter wasn't as emotional. Thank goodness. That's telling me somethings working. Either my letters or his natural fight or flight reflex is kicking in and he gets its all about survival. He told me that his flight, which consists of 40-60 guys in each flight, is young and immature. OHHH the headache for all the older ones in the flight to deal with this but deal they will have to. I had to remind him that they all have lessons to learn and the young can teach the old just as much as the old can teach the young.

Ok, I'm wrapping this one up for tonight. I just wanna lay here lol! Its definitely going to be an early bedtime for me!! Later guys!!



Wednesday, July 4, 2018

What the Hell Just Happened...

Well, I'll tell you what just happened. We just sent our baby boy off to the military. But what I didn't expect to happen was for it to hurt so damn much and blindside me the way that it did.

I use to blog all the time and for a number of years but I wanted to start fresh and with a different perspective. Lots of things have changed over the years. But, before I get into all of that let me introduce myself. My name is Crystal and I just turned 45 last week and the week before that is when we dropped our boy off at the recruiter and said those big words...See ya later.

I honestly didn't think it would hurt as much as it did. Timothy, my hubby, and I had already gone through the same thing with his son (and my bonus child) just 7 years prior and the PRIDE and EXCITEMENT that I felt well, I just knew I would have those same feelings again with our youngest. Oh HELL no I didn't.... I was sucker punched into so many different emotions and feelings that I didn't know how to handle things. I cried and cried when I got home that day and for the days following it as well. For many reasons.

So, that's why I started this blog. To journal and to work through all of those feelings. To help anyone else that needs an ear, shoulder or a supportive word. I haven't graduated to Vlogging on YouTube like so many out there have so I thought I could at least start here and see what happens.

With that being said anyone that comes across this blog, thank you for stopping by. If no one ever stops by then its my own therapy and I've done what I've come over here to do in helping me cope and figure out What the Hell Just Happened....